Category Archives: 英語ジョーク

2016年5 月29日「モバイル英語学習」第368 号(英語ジョーク ): An Exam Is Like A Girlfriend!

fail  不合格;
bloody  《英俗》 ひどい,いやな,べらぼうな;
1. An exam is like a girlfriend
An exam is just like a girlfriend. Both have too many questions. Both are difficult to understand. Both need explanations. And both often get the same result: FAIL!

2. Why?
Birth and death only come once in life. Love only comes once in life. Marriage only comes once in life.But why do these bloody EXAMS come over and over again!?”


2016年2月1日「モバイル英語学習」第359 号( 英語のジョーク ): A Country Where Time Is Not Very Important

stationmaster 駅長;


In a small town, there was one train going to the big city every day. It was scheduled to arrive at 1 p.m., but it was always three or four hours late. Everyone knew this, so they came to the station late and sat and talked until the train arrived. One day, the train got to the station at 1 p.m. When people arrived at the usual time, the train was gone. They got very angry at the stationmaster. “The train is NEVER on time! Now we can’t get to the big city! What are we going to do?” The stationmaster smiled and said, “Don’t worry. That was yesterday’s train!” (by Prof. Douglas Jarrell)

2015年 11月 15日「モバイル英語学習」第 320 号(英語のジョーク) ): complete とfinished の違い

Complete と finishedの違いの説明は難しいと言われています。しかし、2015年9月イギリスで行われた言語学の大会で、ガイアナからのSamsundar Balgobinさんが下記の例を挙げて、上手に「解説」しました。彼の例文は下記の通りです:

“When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. But, when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!”



2015年8月16日「モバイル英語学習」第 308号(英語のジョーク): Why Chinese Shouldn’t Have English Name

caller 電話をかける人;
operator オペレーター;
hilarious 浮かれ騒ぐ;

Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!
Operator: You are talking to someone? Who is this?

Caller: I’m Sam Wan (someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It’s urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) has been involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) has been sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look! If no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I’m Saw Lee (sorry).

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!
(from the Internet. Copyright free.)