bloody 《英俗》 ひどい，いやな，べらぼうな;
1. An exam is like a girlfriend
An exam is just like a girlfriend. Both have too many questions. Both are difficult to understand. Both need explanations. And both often get the same result: FAIL!
Birth and death only come once in life. Love only comes once in life. Marriage only comes once in life.But why do these bloody EXAMS come over and over again!?”
In a small town, there was one train going to the big city every day. It was scheduled to arrive at 1 p.m., but it was always three or four hours late. Everyone knew this, so they came to the station late and sat and talked until the train arrived. One day, the train got to the station at 1 p.m. When people arrived at the usual time, the train was gone. They got very angry at the stationmaster. “The train is NEVER on time! Now we can’t get to the big city! What are we going to do？” The stationmaster smiled and said, “Don’t worry. That was yesterday’s train!” (by Prof. Douglas Jarrell)
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!
Operator: You are talking to someone? Who is this?
Caller: I’m Sam Wan (someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It’s urgent.
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what’s this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well… just tell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one) has been involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one) got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) has been sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look! If no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn’t an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don’t have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I’m Saw Lee (sorry).
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!
(from the Internet. Copyright free.)